Book 3-Levi Stauss--The Commandments

1. Thou shalt covet thy neigbour's ass if it is indeed worth coveting.
2. Thou shalt not have sexual relations with thine relations
3. Thou shalt have an open mind. With a closed mind thou lettest only Dead Fish unto thine heart and with that comes only pain and sorrow (and some frightening moments in the bathroom).
4. Thou shalt make merriment.
5. Thou shalt make relations. (I knoweth that goeth under instruction 4, however Pingu had wanted it to be known of its own right as an instruction. It is of great import, you know.)
6. Thou shalt not worship Dead Fish. He ist the Dark Side.
7. Thou shalt make relations. (This is very important; that beeth why it be repeated.)
8. Thou shalt learneth as much as thou canneth about everything. This shall open thine mind.
9. Thou shalt not worry! Thou shalt make merriment.
10. Sex is good!
11. Thou shalt follow thine own path. Pingu would rather thou not believeth in him than to follow him blindly, and without purpose.
12. Thou shalt not bother thineself too much with "matters of consequence."
13. Contrary to what some other religions sayeth, food dost not need to be completely "clean." In some cases, the 10-second rule dost apply. And when it dost, use it.
14. Partyeth when the occasion is right.
15. Haveth thee lots of good relations.
16. Readeth comic books. Doeth it!

Note: as in any "religion" (or "cult" or whatever you wish to call this), new rules are always added as time goes by. Keep a lookout as you read for new and exciting additions to Levi Strauss!